Ramen Noodles and Alcohol Pads

Chicken noodle ramen smells like celery. Celery doesnt even smell like celery, but chicken noodle ramen does. I just ate some and caughed while it was in my mouth and noodles got sucked up my nose. It was very uncomfortable and burned. It felt like a backwards boogie. I had to suck it back in my mouth. I also had to eat it with a spoon, becasue aparently the company I work for does not believe in forks. I prefer to eat it with a fork and a spoon, like a true Italian. But tonight, actually, more often than not when I am working, I have to eat it with just a spoon. It is not very easy. Luckily I am alone and no one is here to make fun of me. I guess it is unfortunate, since now I have to make fun of myself and I am almost to lazy to even do that. Management around here is a little out of wack. A few weeks ago I was gauging my ears and I had a blow out in one. It bled for like 4 days and was all infected and pussy. We have this drawer of medical supplies and I decided that it would be a good idea to clean it up with some alcohol pads. I did this for about three days before I realized that the alcohol pads expired in 2004. Seven years ago. yep. I was in highschool when these things expired. I could be a fucking doctor by now. I could have a seven year old kid. But I'm not. I'm a 7th year college student working at a ski resort in colorado. So I tell my manager, "Hey, you know these alcohol pads expired seven years ago?" She goes, "I wouldnt worry about it, its alcohol, it doesnt expire, its good forever". Well then why the fuck does it have an experation date on it? Maybe the alcohol is ok but what about the pad? Gauze expires. What about the foil wrapping? What if it decays after 7 years??? Well whatever I dont care. I really didn't I actually pocketed a bunch to take home and kept using it. I figured I would help speed up the process to get the office some new ones. I should mention I am addicted to the news. I fall asleep to it on TV, I check it online through out the day, and at night while I'm working, I listen to my favorite show, Coast to Coast AM... yep.. AM radio... I'm old school. So it was a coast to coast night. George Noorey always starts out with the news. Top story, Alcohol pads being recalled in colorado. Infected pads are causing deaths. Well thats nice to know since I've been using them like three times a day all week long. Then I realized, this place doesnt give a shit. If I was in real danger these things would have been recalled seven fucking years ago. I guess its a good thing my managers dont give a shit. If they did, I would be dead. so... um... thanks? I will just go ahead and assume there is a recall going on for plastic forks...